Expectations: Our Inner Evaluator

Expectations are the voice of our inner evaluator.

“I thought we were on the same page.”
“I guess I was just hoping for a chance to rest.”
“I’m really happy with the way this turned out.”

Expectations are the common denominator in these three statements -- and in an infinite range of others like them.  Our personal internal setting for the way things should work provides the benchmark for determining how we feel about how things actually do work. 

The good news is that these invisible evaluators can help us learn and improve; the bad news is that they can also steal joy and strain relationships. The first step toward turning this force for good is to be as intentional as possible in uncovering and naming expectations. Evaluation is too important to operate in the shadows - so we shouldn’t let our inner evaluator work in the dark!